my cousin is really good at guitar you guise
I am vengeance.
I am the night.
what have I created
My cousin, everyone
Pros to naming your future child “Yeehaw”:
- You get to have a kid named fucking Yeehaw
- absolutely no drawbacks name your kid Yeehaw
also a pro: being able to angrily yell yeehaw at the top of your lungs in public places whenever your child misbehaves
I’m not satanic but these are some damn good rules.
satan does not support rape, animal cruelty, or child abuse
when walking in open territory, bother no one. if someone bothers you, ask them to stop. if they do not stop, destroy them.
*Today on I Didn’t Know I was a Satanist*
I agree with all of these rules…I’m really uncomfortable now
You shouldn’t be uncomfortable, because (this version) of Satanisim Is not in any way shape or form about worshiping Satan. It’s about worshiping yourself. You should really read about it. It is the only religion I have ever agreed or identified with.
So my parents just found out about my fourteen year old brother smoking weed because they found this on his window ledge. So in the middle of a huge lecture my dad decides to open the Baggie and smell it to see how strong it is. He immediately starts crying with laughter. THIS NIGGA HAS BEEN BUYING AND SMOKING FUCKING OREGANO. FUCKIN ITALIAN HERBS. SON. I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I CAN’T DO THIS.
This isn’t funny. That’s the gateway drug to a full blown marinara addiction. It’s good this was caught before this kid started hanging out at Olive Garden and sucking on every breadstick he can find to score another hit.
IT GOT BETTER.
today i learned that you can text the police if you’re dead
NO NO NO I MEANT IF YOU’RE DEAF OMFG
I made it downloadable too
Huh, who would have thought that the best use of time travel ever would would be on “How I Met Your Mother”?
This is what I would do if I could time travel.
I want this as my ringtone
But if this was my ringtone I would never answer my phone, I’d just jam out
today my best friend asked me “why cinderella’s shoe fell off if it fit her perfectly”
In the original story the prince ordered one of his servants to put liquid tar on the staircase to stop her from running away. The shoe got stuck on the tar.
That is a liiiiittle bit creepy
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE BROTHERS GRIMM FAIRYTALES HONEY
There is nothing quite like
The smell of rain in the air
The warning of what is yet to come
The calm before the storm
One of the worst feelings in this world
Is the knowledge of an impending fight
There’s too much silence, too much tension
Much like the calm before the storm
You know that feeling when
Things are finally all panning out
And then your world comes crashing down
That is the calm before the storm
The smell of rain lingering in the air
The eerie stillness as clouds move overhead
Warning you of what is to come
The calm before the storm