...and then she listened to dubstep...

my cousin is really good at guitar you guise

2 hours ago
#granted anything better than me is really good #I FORGOT MY COUSIN'S TAG so this is it now



theambiguoushero:

I am vengeance.

I am the night.

I

am

image

2 hours ago with 12,095 notes — via the-vacumme-cleaner, © theambiguoushero



what have I created

3 hours ago



"blah blah blah i’m celeste, i am djak;asdfk;asd;f;kakdfna ;adkj sing sing write write, sing sing super thuper thuper blah blah blah i can’t drive because i’m a female who does female thing like sucking at driving and making sandwiches in the deli, and does mean things like post pictures of unsuspecting zachary, who did nothing. poor guy, what kind of a jerk would do such a thing…."
— My cousin (desecrate-my-smile)
3 hours ago
#I FORGOT MY COUSIN'S TAG so this is it now



My cousin, everyone

3 hours ago with 1 note
#I FORGOT MY COUSIN'S TAG so this is it now



1atula:

elsenliberator:

Pros to naming your future child “Yeehaw”:

  • You get to have a kid named fucking Yeehaw

Cons:

  • absolutely no drawbacks name your kid Yeehaw

also a pro: being able to angrily yell yeehaw at the top of your lungs in public places whenever your child misbehaves

3 hours ago with 15,684 notes — via purgatory-bitch, © elsenliberator



allahfroo:

somehideitbetter:

fuckyeahsexyatheists:

velma-dear:

iconicmonsters:

I’m not satanic but these are some damn good rules.

satan does not support rape, animal cruelty, or child abuse
when walking in open territory, bother no one. if someone bothers you, ask them to stop. if they do not stop, destroy them.

*Today on I Didn’t Know I was a Satanist*

I agree with all of these rules…I’m really uncomfortable now

You shouldn’t be uncomfortable, because (this version) of Satanisim Is not in any way shape or form about worshiping Satan. It’s about worshiping yourself. You should really read about it. It is the only religion I have ever agreed or identified with. 

allahfroo:

somehideitbetter:

fuckyeahsexyatheists:

velma-dear:

iconicmonsters:

I’m not satanic but these are some damn good rules.

satan does not support rape, animal cruelty, or child abuse

when walking in open territory, bother no one. if someone bothers you, ask them to stop. if they do not stop, destroy them.

*Today on I Didn’t Know I was a Satanist*

I agree with all of these rules…I’m really uncomfortable now

You shouldn’t be uncomfortable, because (this version) of Satanisim Is not in any way shape or form about worshiping Satan. It’s about worshiping yourself. You should really read about it. It is the only religion I have ever agreed or identified with. 

3 hours ago with 27,974 notes — via purgatory-bitch, © theblood-thesweat-thebeers



punpun-kirakira:

patrickat:

nihilisticc:

So my parents just found out about my fourteen year old brother smoking weed because they found this on his window ledge. So in the middle of a huge lecture my dad decides to open the Baggie and smell it to see how strong it is. He immediately starts crying with laughter. THIS NIGGA HAS BEEN BUYING AND SMOKING FUCKING OREGANO. FUCKIN ITALIAN HERBS. SON. I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I CAN’T DO THIS.

This isn’t funny. That’s the gateway drug to a full blown marinara addiction. It’s good this was caught before this kid started hanging out at Olive Garden and sucking on every breadstick he can find to score another hit.

IT GOT BETTER.

punpun-kirakira:

patrickat:

nihilisticc:

So my parents just found out about my fourteen year old brother smoking weed because they found this on his window ledge. So in the middle of a huge lecture my dad decides to open the Baggie and smell it to see how strong it is. He immediately starts crying with laughter. THIS NIGGA HAS BEEN BUYING AND SMOKING FUCKING OREGANO. FUCKIN ITALIAN HERBS. SON. I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I CAN’T DO THIS.

This isn’t funny. That’s the gateway drug to a full blown marinara addiction. It’s good this was caught before this kid started hanging out at Olive Garden and sucking on every breadstick he can find to score another hit.

IT GOT BETTER.

4 hours ago with 119,985 notes — via onequoteaday, © nihilisticc



hitlervevo:

hitlervevo:

today i learned that you can text the police if you’re dead

NO NO NO I MEANT IF YOU’RE DEAF OMFG

4 hours ago with 7,035 notes — via onequoteaday, © hitlervevo



is that a foosball table
IT FREAKING IS

5 hours ago with 1 note
#defineinsanity



I made it downloadable too

14 hours ago with 10 notes , © SoundCloud / toxic-melody
#How I Met Your Mother #The Time Travelers #mine #For the Longest Time #Barney Stinson #Ted Mosby



craze-amaze:

speakerwiggin:

Huh, who would have thought that the best use of time travel ever would would be on “How I Met Your Mother”?

This is what I would do if I could time travel.

I want this as my ringtone

But if this was my ringtone I would never answer my phone, I’d just jam out

14 hours ago with 21 notes — via craze-amaze, © speakerwiggin



warbloggerofzillyhoo:

thesherlockfandomisbroken:

smith-and-noble:

samandpatricks:

today my best friend asked me “why cinderella’s shoe fell off if it fit her perfectly” 

image

In the original story the prince ordered one of his servants to put liquid tar on the staircase to stop her from running away. The shoe got stuck on the tar.

That is a liiiiittle bit creepy

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE BROTHERS GRIMM FAIRYTALES HONEY

14 hours ago with 159,404 notes — via instigating-infinity, © branstheman



huffleist-of-puffs:

rentsak13:

Well, that’s ironic.

Irony Man

huffleist-of-puffs:

rentsak13:

Well, that’s ironic.

Irony Man

15 hours ago with 23,917 notes — via instigating-infinity, © rentsak13



There is nothing quite like
The smell of rain in the air
The warning of what is yet to come
The calm before the storm

One of the worst feelings in this world
Is the knowledge of an impending fight
There’s too much silence, too much tension
Much like the calm before the storm

You know that feeling when
Things are finally all panning out
And then your world comes crashing down
That is the calm before the storm

The smell of rain lingering in the air
The eerie stillness as clouds move overhead
Warning you of what is to come
The calm before the storm

16 hours ago with 3 notes
#mine #poetry #poem #free verse